Squirrel Stew.

Alright.
I know that this entry is straying from our purpose of outing 13 year old idiots that reek the web, but it is still just as ridiculously stupid so we decided it was worthy of an entry.

My mom pulled out her box of memorabilia and one thing was a book of poems that an ex boyfriend wrote for her.
They were in their 20's.
He told her that he spent months and months on this, hard at work,
and although it was a cute idea,

it was definitely a gift where "it's the thought that counts."
The writing is miserably corny and the thoughts half the time stray.

In this book of love poems, he somehow manages to find beauty in eating squirrels - I guess relating that to my mom? I don't know. But none the less, this poem was in there.
(Among an Ode to their dog, and how it has flees.)

For your laughter and pleasure,
"Squirrel Stew".


I eat squirrel stew
And chew
On lead
He's dead

I live
can you believe he dies
That I may live?
He's good
I Only hope I am
As tasty to a bear Or
Some other carnivore

It only fits
It's only right

That we live our life
We fight our fight
And in the end
We die, we bend
To a greater will than ours
We die and go on.





Annnnnnd some pictures of the book:



The book.



The man with his banjo.
Yes, he played banjo.
And no, Jade, he's not 13. He's in his twenties. This writing is inexcusable once you're passed puberty.
Also, part of the letter that he wrote explaining how this project took him months. -_-



This is their dog, and the poem about it...



And if you didn't really believe that this poem was real,
well.
here it is.









So, here you have it.
After a walk down memory lane,
we have a complete and epic fail.

Fellas,
if you want to win a girl over - take this note, and don't write her a poem about how you enjoy eating squirrels.